Tips, Tips, Tips!!!

To delete all Hyperlinks in a Excel sheet...
==============================
1. Sub DeleteHyperLinks()
Sheet1.Hyperlinks.Delete
End Sub

2. And if you don’t need a reusable Sub routine, rather a one time fix, use the Immediate Window:

a. Select the Sheet to remove Hyperlinks from
b. Press Alt+F11 to open the VBE
c. On the VBE Main Menu choose View->Immediate Window
d. In the Immediate Window paste the following code then hit Enter

ActiveSheet.Hyperlinks.Delete

----> However the second one didn't work for me!!!


Watch Movies In a Spreadsheet
======================

Watch or listen to movies in Excel, while you work in Excel:

1. On the main menu click Insert->Object
2. Select Windows Media Player from the Object Type box and hit OK
3. Move and resize the WMP to your liking

Note: If you can’t resize the WMP object, switch to “Design Mode” by clicking the design mode button

Now we’ll add some code to tell the Windows Media Player object to Play and what file to play. Open the Visual Basic Editor(alt+F11), double click the worksheet that contains the WMP you just inserted and Paste the following code:

Sub PlayMovie()
'URL is the location of the movie - change appropriately
WindowsMediaPlayer1.URL = "C:/rb.wmv"
WindowsMediaPlayer1.Controls.Play
End Sub
Play the movie just as you would run a Macro: Tools->Macro->Macros

You may also want to create a couple of shortcuts to Hide and Stop playing the Movie if the boss approaches. Add the following code below the previous code:

Sub HideQuick()
WindowsMediaPlayer1.Visible = False
WindowsMediaPlayer1.Controls.pause
End Sub

Sub ShowQuick()
WindowsMediaPlayer1.Visible = True
WindowsMediaPlayer1.Controls.Play
End Sub
Next add shortcuts to the 2 macros (Tools->Macro->Macros->Options) and you have an instant ON/OFF switch at your fingertips.

SideNote: While watching a movie directly in Excel is interesting, my favorite way to watch a movie while working is using the stand alone Media Player with a few different options set.

From the Tools->Options menu check the box “Display On Top when in Skin Mode”. From the View menu select “Skin Mode” (a small skin works best). Move your movie to the bottom right or left of your screen.

With this setup I can work and also switch between apps and always have my movie visible, yet out of the way. Thanks to Kingzter.

Toll free numbers in India

Toll Free Numbers in India


Airlines
Indian Airlines - 1800 180 1407
Jet Airways - 1800 22 5522
Spice Jet - 1800 180 3333
Air India -- 1800 22 7722
Kingfisher - 1800 180 0101

Banks
ABN AMRO - 1800 11 2224
Canara Bank - 1800 44 6000
Citibank - 1800 44 2265
Corporatin Bank - 1800 443 555
Development Credit Bank - 1800 22 5769
HDFC Bank - 1800 227 227
ICICI Bank - 1800 333 499
ICICI Bank NRI - 1800 22 4848
IDBI Bank - 1800 11 6999
Indian Bank - 1800 425 1400
ING Vysya - 1800 44 9900
Kotak Mahindra Bank - 1800 22 6022
Lord Krishna Bank - 1800 11 2300
Punjab National Bank - 1800 122 222
State Bank of India - 1800 44 1955
Syndicate Bank - 1800 44 6655

Automobiles
Mahindra Scorpio - 1800 22 6006
Maruti - 1800 111 515
Tata Motors - 1800 22 5552
Windshield Experts - 1800 11 3636


Computers/IT
Adrenalin - 1800 444 445
AMD - 1800 425 6664
Apple Computers - 1800 444 683
Canon - 1800 333 366
Cisco Systems - 1800 221 777
Compaq - HP - 1800 444 999
Data One Broadband - 1800 424 1800
Dell - 1800 444 026
Epson - 1800 44 0011
eSys - 3970 0011
Genesis Tally Academy - 1800 444 888
HCL - 1800 180 8080
IBM - 1800 443 333
Lexmark - 1800 22 4477
Marshal's Point - 1800 33 4488
Microsoft - 1800 111 100
Microsoft Virus Update - 1901 333 334
Seagate - 1800 180 1104
Symantec - 1800 44 5533
TVS Electronics - 1800 444 566
WeP Peripherals - 1800 44 6446
Wipro - 1800 333 312
xerox - 1800 180 1225
Zenith - 1800 222 004


Indian Railway General Enquiry 131
Indian Railway Central Enquiry 131
Indian Railway Reservation 131
Indian Railway Railway Reservation Enquiry 1345,1335,1330
Indian Railway Centralized Railway Enquiry 1330/1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9


Couriers/Packers & Movers
ABT Courier - 1800 44 8585
AFL Wizz - 1800 22 9696
Agarwal Packers & Movers - 1800 11 4321
Associated Packers P Ltd - 1800 21 4560
DHL - 1800 111 345
FedEx - 1800 22 6161
Goel Packers & Movers - 1800 11 3456
UPS - 1800 22 7171

Home Appliances
Aiwa/Sony - 1800 11 1188
Anchor Switches - 1800 22 7979
Blue Star - 1800 22 2200
Bose Audio - 1800 11 2673
Bru Coffee Vending Machines - 1800 44 7171
Daikin Air Conditioners - 1800 444 222
DishTV - 1800 12 3474
Faber Chimneys - 1800 21 4595
Godrej - 1800 22 5511
Grundfos Pumps - 1800 33 4555
LG - 1901 180 9999
Philips - 1800 22 4422
Samsung - 1800 113 444
Sanyo - 1800 11 0101
Voltas - 1800 33 4546
WorldSpace Satellite Radio - 1800 44 5432

Investments/ Finance
CAMS - 1800 44 2267
Chola Mutual Fund - 1800 22 2300
Easy IPO's - 3030 5757
Fidelity Investments - 1800 180 8000
Franklin Templeton Fund - 1800 425 4255
J M Morgan Stanley - 1800 22 0004
Kotak Mutual Fund - 1800 222 626
LIC Housing Finance - 1800 44 0005
SBI Mutual Fund - 1800 22 3040
Sharekhan - 1800 22 7500
Tata Mutual Fund - 1800 22 0101

Travel
Club Mahindra Holidays - 1800 33 4539
Cox & Kings - 1800 22 1235
God TV Tours - 1800 442 777
Kerala Tourism - 1800 444 747
Kumarakom Lake Resort - 1800 44 5030
Raj Travels & Tours - 1800 22 9900
Sita Tours - 1800 111 911
SOTC Tours - 1800 22 3344


Healthcare
Best on Health - 1800 11 8899
Dr Batras - 1800 11 6767
GlaxoSmithKline - 1800 22 8797
Johnson & Johnson - 1800 22 8111
Kaya Skin Clinic - 1800 22 5292
LifeCell - 1800 44 5323
Manmar Technologies - 1800 33 4420
Pfizer - 1800 442 442
Roche Accu-Chek - 1800 11 45 46
Rudraksha - 1800 21 4708
Varilux Lenses - 1800 44 8383
VLCC - 1800 33 1262


Insurance
AMP Sanmar - 1800 44 2200
Aviva - 1800 33 2244
Bajaj Allianz - 1800 22 5858
Chola MS General Insurance - 1800 44 5544
HDFC Standard Life - 1800 227 227
LIC - 1800 33 4433
Max New York Life - 1800 33 5577
Royal Sundaram - 1800 33 8899
SBI Life Insurance - 1800 22 9090

Hotel Reservations
GRT Grand - 1800 44 5500
InterContinental Hotels Group - 1800 111 000
Marriott - 1800 22 0044
Sarovar Park Plaza - 1800 111 222
Taj Holidays - 1800 111 825

Teleshopping
Asian Sky Shop - 1800 22 1800
Jaipan Teleshoppe - 1800 11 5225
Tele Brands - 1800 11 8000
VMI Teleshopping - 1800 447 777
WWS Teleshopping - 1800 220 777

Others
Domino's Pizza - 1800 111 123

Cell Phones
BenQ - 1800 22 08 08
Bird CellPhones - 1800 11 7700
Motorola MotoAssist - 1800 11 1211
Nokia - 3030 3838
Sony Ericsson - 3901 1111

B-eat diabetes!!!

Apple peel
Apple peels have sugar reducing powers. They contain quercetin, a flavanoid that has anti-oxidant effects that helps in reducing diabetes.. So when snacking on the fruit, remember to eat it whole. Apples come in many varieties. No matter which variety you choose, the benefits are equally high.

Asparagus
Asparagus is an excellent source of glutathione — an antioxidant compound that is known to keep blood sugar stable. The edible parts of the stalk are the shoots that appear underground, so choose those that are tender and green.

Beans
Most members of the legume family contain phytonutrients that are not only good for the heart but will also help you battle diabetes. The best way to take full advantage of these is by consuming dried beans that have been soaked in water for several hours before cooking. Think rajma, chole, etc.

Broccoli
Broccoli is easily available at most speciality-food stockists. It is an excellent source of quercetin which will help you in your war against rising blood sugar. So blanch it for your salad or puree it for the soup.

Carrots
Have you heard of a rabbit with diabetes? It's probably because of all the carrots they munch. Jokes apart, these vegetables are not only good for your eyes, like your mother said, but also full of carotenoids that can help protect the heart and balance your insulin levels.

Fish
Another great reason to dump red meat in favour of fish. Not only do the omega-3 fatty acids found in fish help fight depression, they balance your blood sugar levels and protect your heart.

Nuts
A fistful of nuts is power-packed with minerals and healthy fats that protect your heart and balance your blood sugar. Go nuts!

Oranges
This perky fruit is not just another pretty looker about town. It's packed with phtonutrients that can help you fight diabetes including flavonoids, carotenoids, terpines, pectins and glutathione. It rates low on the Glycemic Index, which means it does not affect blood glucose levels highly, making the orange a good friend to have.

Soybeans
Also a member of the legume family, the soya bean is a complete source of protein, and also provides phytoestrogens, isoflavones and saponins that can help balance blood sugar.

Tea
Apart from being high on anti-oxidants that act as a cleanser for your system, here’s one more reason not to miss out on your daily cup of chai. It has phytonutrients such as catechins and tannins that can help balance your blood sugar. However, don’t forget to keep the sugar aside.

Understanding IP addresses

Understanding IP addresses in computers:

Internet Protocol or IP addresses are common in today's world of networked computers. That's because every computer connected to a single network has an IP.

Washington: An IP address is a number that uniquely identifies a computer on a network. Every computer that's connected to a network, whether that network is the Internet or a private home or office network, has a unique IP address.

IP addresses consist of four sets of numbers, with each set separated by a period (dot), such as 192.168.100. 111. Every domain name, such as www. microsoft.com, maps to a particular IP address. IP addresses are meted out either as static or dynamic. A static IP address never changes. It's the type used by most major websites.

A dynamic IP address is automatically assigned to a computer when you log on to a network. Most Internet Service Providers (ISPs) assign dynamic IP addresses to their customers. There are two types of IP addresses, internal and external. An internal IP address is also typically referred to as "non routable". That means that it's an IP address which usually is not exposed to the outside world.

Each computer in a home or office network has an internal IP address, and it's that address that you would use to make one computer in an office network, for example, talk to talk to another computer within the same network.

To find your internal IP address, open the Windows Start menu, and select Run. On Windows Vista, simply press Windows Key-R. The Run dialog box opens. Type "cmd," without the quotation marks, in the Run dialog box, and press Enter. A DOS command prompt opens.

From the command prompt, type "ipconfig," without the quotation marks, and press Enter. In a second, Windows will return a small report labelled "Windows IP Configuration. " Note that one of those lines, labelled "IP Address," provides your internal IP address. Write those numbers down. To exit the command window, type "exit," and press Enter.

Note that if your computer is configured to obtain an IP address automatically, as many are, this number could change periodically, especially if you must unplug the network cable and then plug it in to another outlet somewhere in a corporation or your home. Therefore, remember this procedure for retrieving your IP address.

An external IP address has also assigned by your ISP to the computer or router that's connected to the ISP. An IP address is normally no secret. Websites, your Internet Service Provider (ISP), and others can track your IP address, allowing or forbidding access to certain resources if they wish.

You can hide your IP address, however, by using one of the many so-called cloaking services available on the Internet. Cloaking services use what's known as a proxy server to conceal your identity online by providing you with a temporary fake IP address. To use a cloaking service, you typically log on to the cloaking site and use a form field to type in the address of the website you'd like to visit. Once you click "go," you're taken to the website through the cloaking service, and your IP address is hidden. It not only disguises your IP but also allows you to determine the level of security you'd like.

My System Restores have vanished!!

My System Restores Have Vanished!!

Has this happened to you?

Strange as it may sound, a friend of mine has indeed had this complaint. (For those who don't know, System Restore brings back the PC to an earlier good working state.)

Say you've installed a new program and it causes a problem even after uninstalling it -- System Restore can help you here, as it backs up important system files and the Registry automatically. But there are reasons for it not doing so. After some investigation, here are a few important facts I found.

1. System Restore needs space. You need to dedicate some space for System Restore activities. Windows does this automatically, but if you aren't like my silly friend, don't fill up your primary partition's C drive with all your data, which can cause System Restore to not make any further restore files. See that you have at least 1 GB to 2 GB free on your C partition for Windows to work properly.

2. System Restore needs the Task Scheduler service to function. I'd made this mistake myself -- I'd disabled the service since I don't use Windows Task Scheduler. To check whether you have the Task Scheduler service running:

a. Go to Start Run or just Start in Vista.

b. Type in services.msc, and click OK.

c. Click on any one of the entries on the right pane and hit T on the keyboard to quickly run down to Task Scheduler.

d. Check whether the Status is set to Started (meaning "running,") and that Startup Type is Automatic.

e. If it's not, double-click on it, set the Startup Type to Automatic and click on the Start button to instantly start the service.

3. Last, if you can't get System Restore Points to work, just disable all system restoration and re-enable it. This will give System Restore a fresh start. To do this:

a. Right-click My computer and go to Properties.

b. Go to the System Restore tab.

c. Click on the first option (Turn off System Restore on all drives).

ENG(KILL)ISH...!

Killing English ……

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette... ? "

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

************ ********* ********* ************ *

LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****

Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

************ ********* ********* ********* *****

Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

Cup of Tea.

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of "tea", which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was "just the cutest thing!" My Mom waited, and sure enough, I walked down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :) "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that your daughter can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Human Brain Analysis...

Women - Multiple process
Women's brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time.
Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe.

Men - Single Process
Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch a TV and talking in phone same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over phone or cook.

LANGUAGE.
Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain set up. But can not find the solutions to problems Men can not easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems.
3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy.

ANALYTICAL SKILL
Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process.
He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she can not understand it. She can not understand the details of the map easily. For her it is dump of lines in a paper.

MAP
Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain does this. While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of crowd, men can leave his seat to T shop and keeps everything in his mind and comes back to his seat with out problems. He uses his analytical skills space of brain.
Women can't do this. They often lost their way to their seat.

CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, men's analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he see an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and driving accordingly. Where as women take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. His single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrating only on the driving.
You can often watch, while men driving the car fastly, the women sit next to him will shout, "GO SLOW" , "CARE FULL", "AAHHH", "OHH GOD.." .etc..
WOMEN ARE "THE BEST" DRIVERS

LIE
Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they got caught easily. Her super natural brain observe the facial ex-pression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words comes from mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lieing.
Men's brain does not have this.
Women easily lie to men face to face.
So guys, While lieing to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket.
Don't lie face to face.

PROBLEM.
End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and put into individual rooms of brain, the problems in individual room of brain and finding the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking on the sky's for a long times. If you disturb him, he gets irritated.

End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants someone to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry abt the problem solved or not.

WANTS
Men want status, success, solutions, big process... etc Women want relationship, friends, family...etc...

UNHAPPY
If women unhappy with their relations, she can not concentrate on work.
If men unhappy with their work, he can not concentrate on the relations.

LIFE
Life is very easy to Men. One good job, one alcohol bottle is enough for him.
Women want everything in life.

SPEECH
Women use indirect languages in speech.
Geetha asked Vijay, "Vijay do you like to have a cup of coffee?"
This means, Geetha really want a cup of coffee.
In the morning......."Darling, do you think, will it be good to have an Omlette for breakfast"
Men use direct language. "Geetha, I want to have a cup of coffee, Pls stop the car when you see a coffee shop".
In the morning...."Darling, Can you please prepare an omelet for breakfast".

HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking, if they are in emotion.
Men act a lot without thinking. That's why many of prisoners are men all over the world.

COMMITMENT
Men gets committed if you say he is your friend… that’s just enough.
Women suspects everything and everyone. Rarely commits even after marriage.

Saving Profile Pic. in Orkut

Saving profile main pic by right click is not the correct way in Orkut. If you want to save or download any profile picture of Orkut into your computer, you need to get image URL from the source file of the profile page.
You can do as follows. First go at profile page.
If you are using firefox- click on View > Page Source (For IE, click View>Source).
Press Ctrl+F.
In search box put- ‘background’ and click find. You will reach at something these line first
style=”background-image: url("http://img3.orkut.com/images/medium/1202561440/76413644.jpg">http://img3.orkut.com/images/medium/1202561440/76413644.jpg);
copy the Image URL (example)-"http://img3.orkut.com/images/medium/1202561440/76413644.jpg">http://img3.orkut.com/images/medium/1202561440/76413644.jpg
Put this URL on address bar, press Enter. Enjoy the pic. Now right click on pic an save it on your PC.

How to break a sad news...!!!

At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo your country house caretaker"
"Ah yes, Mr.Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died"
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition? "
"That's the one."
"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat."
"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?"
"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
"Dead horse? What dead horse Mr.Arnaldo?"
"Why, those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house!
A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire."
"What the.....!!!But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for???"
"For the funeral."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!! !!!"
"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her."

What-te thinking...!!!

A man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The man replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"

WHAT-TE THINKING....!!!!

The Sailing Stones...of Death Valley

The sailing stones, also referred to as sliding rocks or moving rocks, are a geological phenomenon found in Racetrack Playa, Death Valley. The stones are assumed to slowly move across the surface of the playa, inferred from the long tracks behind them, without human or animal intervention. They have neither been seen nor filmed in motion and are not unique to The Racetrack. Similar rock travel patterns have been recorded in several other playas in the region but the number and length of travel grooves on The Racetrack are notable.

Racetrack stones only move once every two or three years and most tracks last for just three or four years. Stones with rough bottoms leave straight striated tracks while those with smooth bottoms wander. Stones sometimes turn over, exposing another edge to the ground and leaving a different-sized track in the stone's wake.

Description

Tracks are sometimes not rectilinear.Most of the so-called 'sailing stones' originate from an 850 foot (260 m) high hillside made of dark dolomite on the south end of the playa, but some are intrusive igneous rock from adjacent slopes (most of those being tan-colored feldspar-rich syenite). Tracks are often tens to hundreds of feet (low to high tens of meters) long, a few to 12 inches (8 to 30 cm) wide, and typically much less than an inch (2.5 cm) deep.

A balance of specific conditions are thought to be needed for stones to move:

A saturated yet non-flooded surface,
Thin layer of clay,
Very strong gusts as initiating force,
Strong sustained wind to keep stones going.

Geography.



The Racetrack Basin lies within the boundary of Death Valley National ParkWithin the basin lies an almost perfectly flat dry lake, known as the Racetrack Playa. Resting on its flat dry lakebed are pebble- to boulder-sized rocks, with masses estimated at up to 320 kilograms (Sharp and Carey, 1976)

This in itself could be explained by simple mass wasting processes, yet the position of the rocks, often hundreds of meters from a source area, and the presence of furrows in the clay playa surface leading toward the rocks suggests that the rocks are moving by traction.


Trails created by the rocks vary in length and direction. Some trails show gradual (curving) or abrupt (angular) changes in direction; most trails indicate a general south/southwest to north/northeast motion (Kirk, 1952; Sharp and Carey, 1976). Distances traveled of as much as 3.2 kilometers are inferred by the presence of distinctive lithologies far from possible areas of origin. Many rocks appear to break off dolomite cliffs at the south end of the playa, and are ultimately "deposited" where the playa meets an alluvial fan, about 2 kilometers to the north (Sharp and Carey, 1976; Messina, Stoffer and Clarke, 1997). Some trails are parallel to others that are in close proximity and generally strike from south to north, consistent with prevailing wind patterns, thereby suggesting wind as the motive force.

Actively studied for 50 years, the rocks that mysteriously move around the dried lake bed playa in Death Valley, called the Racetrack, are yet to have an unquestionable explanation for their movement.

In 1955 George M. Stanley first proposed the theory that the rocks move with the assistance of ice sheets forming after the playa surface is flooded.

There have been times when the playa is flooded with standing water up to 7 cm deep and temperatures commonly drop below freezing at the Racetrack (elevation is 3,708 feet so it has cooler temperatures than the valley floor which has the lowest elevation and the highest recorded temperature in the western hemisphere) in the winter and early spring.

In 1976 Robert Sharp and Dwight Carey diputed the ice-sheet theory. They analyzed the tracks and concluded becasuse of track characteristics and the geometries of the tracks relative to each other that ice sheets could not have been involved in forming the tracks and moving the rocks.

English-Why so difficult

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Guy’s Perspective!

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought 2

The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought 3
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced 'Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.'


The whole audience including priest started laughing.......... but not the poor groom!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the best!!!
Thought 4
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, 'If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, 'Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.' The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. 'Who are you?'
'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered.
'Oh, yeah?' the man asked 'And where the hell were you when I got married?'

Why men wear ear rings?

I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."


The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring, "he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my car."

Men always have better friends....

Men always have better friends....

They will stand by you, no matter what....!!!


Here's an example:-



Friends of Women:A wife was not at home for a whole night.

So she tells her husband the very next morning,

that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment overnight.

So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and

none of them confirmed that she was with them.



Friends of Men:A husband was not at home for a whole night.

So he tells his wife the very next morning,

that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night.

So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirmed that

he stayed at their apartments that night and

another 5 claimed that he is still with them!!

Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!

Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!


1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Always pray and make time to exercise.

4. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 And under the age of Six.

5. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants And eat less foods that are manufactured in Plants.

6. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

7. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

8. Clear your clutter from your house, car, desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

9. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

10. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class ...but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

11. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a layman And dinner like a begger .

12. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

13. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

16. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

17. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no Idea what their journey is all about.

18. Ladies - Go on and burn those 'special' scented Candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good China and wear fancy clothes now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Every day is special.

19. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

20. Frame every so-called disaster with these Words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

21. Forgive everyone for everything.

22. What other people think of you is none of your Business.

23. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!

24. However good or bad a situation is, it will Change.

25. Your job won't take care of you when you are Sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.

26. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

27. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all You need. God provides, remember?!

28. The best is yet to come.

29.. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

30. Do the right thing!

31. Call your family often..

32. Each night before you go to bed complete the Following statements: 'I am thankful for __________.'
Today I accomplished _________.

33. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

34. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast Pass. You only have one ride through life so make The most of it and enjoy the ride.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH. LIFE'S A gift.. that's why it's called PRESENT ... UNWRAP IT! Have a Blessed day a

Joke of the day

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. "Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?" asked God.

"I could eat," Mother Teresa replied.

So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet.

The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Still she said nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she asked, "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand it..."

God sighed. "Let's be honest Teresa,"

He said, ". . . for just two people, it doesn't pay to cook."

Something called LIFE....

I bet you will drop some tears after reading this...read on.

THIS IS HOW WE MISS OUT SOMETHING CALLED "LIFE"

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the
bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.

When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

"I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

This story is really worth reading. ..... Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out something called L.I.F.E

Some interesting Facts...

Here are some interesting, but true facts, that you may or may not have known.

------------ ------


The Statue of Liberty's index finger is eight feet long



Rain has never been recorded in some parts of the Atacama Desert in Chile


A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.


A Boeing 747's wing span is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.(the Wright brother's invented the airplane)


There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans.


One type of hummingbird weighs less than a penny


The word "set" has the most number of definitions in the English language;192


Slugs have four noses


Sharks can live up to 100 years


Mosquitos are more attracted to the color blue than any other color.


Kangaroos can't walk backwards


About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in in the U.S. Everyday


The largest recorded snowflake was 15in wide and 8in thick. It fell in Montana in 1887


The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.


Former president Bill Clinton only sent 2 emails in his entire 8 year presidency


Koalas and humans are the only animals that have finger prints


There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human


It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery had in it to begin with.


The world's largest Montessori school is in India, with 26,312 students in 2002


Octopus have three hearts


If you ate too many carrots, you'd turn orange


The average person spends two weeks waiting for a traffic light to change.


1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116 or old


The body has 2-3 million sweat glands


Tiger shark embroyos fight each other in their mother's womb. The survivor is born.


Most cats are left pawed


250 people have fallen off the Leaning Tower of Pisa


A Blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant


You use 14 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. Keep Smiling!


Bamboo can grow up to 3 ft in 24 hours


An eyeball weighs about 1 ounce


Bone is five times stronger than steel.

Men & Women Facts....

Men:


1. All men are extremely busy.


2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.


3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.


4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.


5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.


6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.


7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.




Women:


1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.


2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.


3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.


4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.


5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".


6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.


7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Hellow...Room Service!!!

Crossing the Language Barrier

Read This Out Loud!!!

I dare you to try!



To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.



The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published.



Room Service (RS) : "Morrin. ; Roon sirbees."



Guest (G) : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."



RS : "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor
sunteen??"



G : "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."



RS : "Ow July den?"



G : "What??"



RS : "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"



G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."



RS : "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"



G : "Crisp will be fine."



RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"



G : "What?"



RS : "An toes. July Sahn toes?"



G : "I don't think so."



RS : "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"



G : "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."



RS : "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"



G : "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."



RS : "We bodder?"



G : "No...just put the bodder on the side."



RS : "Wad! ?"



G : "I mean butter...just put it on the side."



RS : "Copy?"



G : "Excuse me?"



RS : "Copy...tea...meel?"



G : "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."



RS : "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy.... rye??"



G : "Whatever you say."



RS : "Tenjewberrymuds."



G : "You're very welcome."

Windows Vienna - newbie in the Microsft stable

Windows "Vienna" (formerly known as Blackcomb) is Microsoft's codename for a future version of Microsoft Windows, originally announced in February 2000, but has since been subject to major delays and rescheduling.
The code name "Blackcomb" was originally assigned to a version of Windows that was planned to follow Windows XP (codenamed "Whistler"; both named after the Whistler-Blackcomb resort) in both client and server versions. However, in August 2001, the release of Blackcomb was pushed back several years and Vista (originally codenamed "Longhorn" after a bar in the Whistler Blackcomb Resort) was announced as a release between XP and Blackcomb.

Since then, the status of Blackcomb has undergone many alterations and PR manipulations, ranging from Blackcomb being scrapped entirely, to becoming a server-only release. As of 2006, it is still planned as both a client and server release with a current release estimate of anytime between 2009 and 2012, although no firm release date or target has yet been publicized.

In January 2006, "Blackcomb" was renamed to "Vienna".

Originally, internal sources pitched Blackcomb as being not just a major revision of Windows, but a complete departure from the way users today typically think about interacting with a computer. While Windows Vista is intended to be a technologies-based release, with some added UI sparkle (in the form of the Windows Aero set of technologies and guidelines), Vienna is targeted directly at revolutionizing the way users of the product interact with their PCs.

For instance, the "Start" philosophy, introduced in Windows 95, may be completely replaced by the "new interface" which was said in 1999 to be scheduled for "Vienna" (before being moved to Vista ("Longhorn") and then back again to "Vienna").

The Explorer shell will be replaced in its entirety, with features such as the taskbar being replaced by a new concept based on the last 10 years of R&D at the Microsoft "VIBE" research lab. Projects such as GroupBar and LayoutBar are expected to make an appearance, allowing users to more effectively manage and keep track of their applications and documents while in use, and a new way of launching applications is expected—among other ideas, Microsoft is investigating a pie menu-type circular interface, similar in function to the dock in Mac OS X.

Several other features originally planned for Windows Vista may be part of "Vienna", though they may be released independently when they are finished.

"Vienna" will also feature the "sandboxed" approach discussed during the Alpha/White Box development phase for Longhorn. All non-managed code will run in a sandboxed environment where access to the "outside world" is restricted by the operating system. Access to raw sockets will be disabled from within the sandbox, as will direct access to the file system, hardware abstraction layer (HAL), and complete memory addressing. All access to outside applications, files, and protocols will be regulated by the operating system, and any malicious activity will be halted immediately. If this approach is successful, it bodes very well for security and safety, as it is virtually impossible for a malicious application to cause any damage to the system if it is locked in what is effectively a glass box.

Another interesting feature mentioned by Bill Gates is "a pervasive typing line that will recognize the sentence that [the user is] typing in." The implications of this could be as simple as a "complete as you type" function as found in most modern search engines, (e.g. Google Suggest) or as complex as being able to give verbal commands to the PC without any concern for syntax. This former feature has been incorporated to an extent in Windows Vista.

Microsoft has stated that "Vienna" will be available in both 32-bit and 64-bit for the client version, in order to ease the industry's transition from 32-bit to 64-bit computing. Vienna Server is expected to support only 64-bit server systems. There will be continued backward compatibility with 32-bit applications, but 16-bit Windows and MS-DOS applications will not be supported as in Windows Vista 64-bit versions. They are already unsupported in 64-bit versions of XP and Server 2003.

Today's Titbit Trivia

The Sears Tower is Chicago's tallest structure, towering at 1,454 feet.
About 10,000 people go to work there Monday through Friday. The building has its own U.S. Post Official and ZIP code: 60606.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A space vehicle must move at a rate of at least 7 miles per second to escape Earth's gravitational pull. This is equivalent to going from New York to Philadelphia in about 20 seconds.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lake Baikal in Siberia is the only lake in the world that is deep enough to have deep-sea fish.

Interesting facts about Nokia...

Hey Nokians...Some interesting facts about Nokia...

1) The ringtone "Nokia tune" is actually based on a 19th century guitar work named "Gran Vals" by Spanish musician Francisco de Asís Tárrega Eixea shortly Francisco Tárrega. The Nokia Tune was originally named "Grande Valse" on Nokia phones but was changed to "Nokia Tune" around 1998 when it became so well known that people referred to it as the "Nokia Tune."

2) The world's first commercial GSM call was made in 1991 in Helsinki over a Nokia-supplied network, by Prime Minister of Finland Harri Holkeri, using a Nokia phone.

3) Nokia is currently the world's largest digital camera manufacturer, as the sales of its camera-equipped mobile phones have exceeded those of any conventional camera manufacturer.

4) The "Special" tone available to users of Nokia phones when receiving SMS (text messages) is actually Morse code for "SMS". Similarly, the "Ascending" SMS tone is Morse code for "Connecting People," Nokia's slogan. The "Standard" SMS tone is Morse code for "M" (Message).

5) The Nokia corporate font (typeface) is the AgfaMonotype Nokia Sans font, originally designed by Eric Spiekermann. Its mobile phone User's Guides Nokia mostly used the Agfa Rotis Sans

6) In Asia, the digit 4 never appears in any Nokia handset model number, because 4 is considered unlucky in many parts of Southeast/East Asia.

7) Nokia was listed as the 20th most admirable company worldwide in Fortune's list of 2006 (1st in network communications, 4th non-US company).

8. Unlike other modern day handsets, Nokia phones do not automatically start the call timer when the call is connected, but start it when the call is initiated. (Except for Series 60 based handsets like the Nokia 6600)

9) Nokia is sometimes called aikon (Nokia backwards) by non-Nokia mobile phone users and by mobile software developers, because "aikon" is used in various SDK software packages, including Nokia's own Symbian S60 SDK.

10) The name of the town of Nokia originated from the river which flowed through the town. The river itself, Nokianvirta, was named after the old Finnish word originally meaning sable, later pine marten. A species of this small, black-furred predatory animal was once found in the region, but it is now extinct.

Joke(s) of the Day...

One guy suddenly got up in a plain and said
"hijack"
***
*

*
*

*
*

*
*Everybody in the plane put there hands up.Then suddenly***
***
**
**
Another guy from another side got up and said
"hi...john"
********

Pride of KF, The King of Good times:-

After an international beer conference in London, all the world's top brewery bosses decide to go out for a beer together.
The Chairman of Budweiser says, "I'd like the most refreshing beer in the world, 'The King Of Beers': give me a Budweiser."
The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and opens it for him .
The Chairman of Guiness says, "I'd like the only beer in the world worth really, truly waiting for: give me a Guinness."
The bartender serves him.
The Chairman of Carlsberg says, " I would like the world's best beer, drunk in more countries than any other: give me a Carlsberg."
He gets it.
Vijay Mallaya sits down, looks around and says, "Just give me a Coke."
The bartender looks at him, shrugs, and serves him.
The other brewery bosses laugh loudly and say, "Hey Vijay, how come you aren't drinking a Kingfisher?"
"Listen," says Vijay Mallya, "If you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I"

~~~~~~~~~~


"Oye sardar ji your friend is kissing your wife in your house"

Sardar ji ran towards home and came back saying:"oye you have been fooled....,He is not my friend."

~~~~~~~~~



Bush and Musharraf were flying in a plane.

Bush says: if I drop a billion dollars here
I'll make a million people happy.

Musharraf: if I drop my uniform.
I'll make my whole country happy.

Plane's Pilot: if I drop the plane.
I'll make the whole world happy


~~~~~~~~~

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did."

Call Centre...

Call centre jobs: Ever wondered why they are paid so much for just being on the phone all the time. Read on to know...:-

*

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

*

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

*

Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

*

Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$

*

Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

*

Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."

*

Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

*

Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support:: "Well then we can't-"
Customer:: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"
Customer:: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support:: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."

*

Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

*

Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

*

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

*

Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

*

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

*

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

*

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

*

Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

*

Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

*

True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at atrade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.

Believe it or not!

Of all tales of the supernatural, this one is perhaps the best documented, the most disturbing and the most difficult to explain.

The Princess of Amen-Ra lived some 1,500 yrs b4 Christ. When she died, she was laid in an ornate wooden coffin and buried deep in a vault at Luxor, on the banks of the Nile. In the late 1890s, 4 rich young Englishmen visiting the excavations at Luxor were invited to buy an exquisitely fashioned mummy case containing the remains of Princess of Amen-Ra. They drew lots. The man who won paid several thousand pounds and had the coffin taken to his hotel. A few hours later, he was seen walking out towards the desert. He never return. The next day, one of the remaining 3 men was shot by an Egyptian servant accidentally. His arm was so severely wounded it had to be amputated. The 3rd man in the foursome found on his return home that the bank holding his entire savings had failed. The 4th guy suffered a severe illness, lost his job and was reduced to selling matches in the street.

Nevertheless, the coffin reached England (causing other misfortunes along the way), where it was bought by a London businessman. After 3 of his family members had been injured in a road accident and his house damaged by fire, the businessman donated it to the British Museum. As the coffin was being unloaded from a truck in the museum courtyard, the truck suddenly went into reverse and trapped a passer-by. Then as the casket was being lifted up the stairs by 2 workmen, 1 fell and broke his leg. The other, apperently in perfect health, died unaccountably two days later.

Once the Princess was installed in the Egyptian Rm, trouble really started. Museum's night watchmen frequently heard frantic hammering and sobbing from the coffin. Other exhibits in the rm were also often hurled about at night. One watchman died on duty; causing the other watchmen wanting to quit. Cleaners refused to go near the Princess too. When a visitor derisively flicked a dustcloth at the face painted on the coffin, his child died of measles soon afterwards.

Finally, the authorities had the mummy carried down to the basement. Figuring it could not do any harm down there. Within a week, one of the helpers was seriously ill, and the supervisor of the move was found dead on his desk. By now, the papers had heard of it. A journalist photographer took a pict of the mummy case and when he developed it, the painting on the coffin was of a horrifying, human face. The photographer was said to went home then, locked his bedroom door and shot himself.

Soon afterwards, the museum sold the mummy to a private collector. After continual misfortune (and deaths), the owner banished it to the attic. A well known authority on the occult, Madame Helena Blavatsky, visited the premises. Upon entry, she was sized with a shivering fit and searched the house for the source of "an evil influence of incredible intensity". She finally came to the attic and found the mummy case. "Can you exorcise this evil spirit ?" asked the owner. "There is no such thing as exorcism . Evil remains evil forever. Nothing can be done about it. I implore you to get rid of this evil as soon as possible."

But no British museum would take the mummy; the fact that almost 20 ppl had met with misfortune, disaster or death from handling the casket, in barely 10 yrs, was now well known. Eventually, a hard-headed American archaeologist (who dismissed the happenings as quirks of circumstance), paid a handsome price for the mummy and arranged for its removal to New York. In Apr 1912, the new owner escorted its treasure aboard a sparkling, new White Star liner about to make its maiden voyage to New York. On the night of Apr 14, amid scenes of unprecedented horror, the Princess of Amen-Ra accompanied 1,500 passengers to their deaths at the bottom of the Atlantic. The name of the ship was Titanic.

Now, click and select from the exclamation mark below and drag till the asterisk mark to read the scariest thing about this article....

!By the way, the above story was just made up. Was'nt it good. ;-) *

Indian Languages...

Indian states/UTs with predominant languages:



1. Jammu & Kashmir (Dogri, Kashmiri, Ladakhi, Punjabi, Urdu, Hindi, Baltistani, Dardi)

2. Himanchal Pradesh (Hindi, Pahadi)

3. Punjab (Punjabi, Hindi and Urdu)

4. Haryana (Hindi, Haryanvi, Predominantly Muslim - Urdu)

5. Rajasthan (Hindi, Rajasthani, Marwadi, Predominantly Muslim - Urdu)

6. Uttar Pradesh (Hindi, Brijbhasha, Pahadi, Avadhi, Bhojpuri, numerous others, Pred. Musl. - Urdu)

7. Madhya Pradesh (Hindi, Marathi, numerous others, pred. Muslim - Urdu)

8. Gujarat (Gujarati)

9. Maharashtra (Marathi, Vidarbha region - Hindi and Marathi, Konkan region - Konkani and Malwani)

10. Karnataka (Kannada, Tulu, Konkani)

11. Goa (Konkani)

12. Kerala (Malayalam)

13. Tamil Nadu (Tamil)

14. Lakshadweep (small chain of islands - Malayalam (?) )

15. Andaman & Nicobar Islands (Andamanese)

16. Andhra Pradesh (Telugu, Hyderabad city - Telugu plus Urdu)

17. Orissa (Oriya)

18. Bihar (Hindi, Bhojpuri, Maithini, Santhali, Angika, numerous others, Bengali, Pred. Muslim - Urdu)

19. West Bengal (Bengali)

20. Sikkim (Nepali, Lepcha, Bhutia)

21. Assam (Assamese, others)

22. Meghalaya (Garo, Khasi)

23. Arunanchal Pradesh (I plead ignorance!)

24. Mizoram (Mizo)

25. Nagaland (Naga)

26. Tripura (Tripuri, Bengali, Kuki)

27. Delhi (Hindi-Capital City and sorrounding area - given quasi-statehood recently)


Other languages - Sindhi, Sanskrit
Other Indian languages which are not represented in the "leftover" India -Baluchi, Pashto (in Pakistan now)

Great Software Bugs....

This is an interesting collection of greatest software bugs Read it and enjoy it.

10. Mariner 1 Venus probe loses its way: 1962
A probe launched from Cape Canaveral was set to go to Venus. After takeoff, the unmanned rocket carrying the probe went off course, and NASA had to blow up the rocket to avoid endangering lives on earth. NASA later attributed the error to a faulty line of FORTRAN code.

The report stated, "Somehow a hyphen had been dropped from the guidance program loaded aboard the computer, allowing the flawed signals to command the rocket to veer left and nose down... Suffice it to say, the first U.S. attempt at interplanetary flight failed for want of a hyphen." The vehicle cost more than $80 million, prompting Arthur C.Clarke to refer to the mission as "the most expensive hyphen in history."



9. Radiation machine kills four: 1985 to 1987
Faulty software in a Therac-25 radiation-treatment machine made by Atomic Energy of Canada Limited (AECL) resulted in several cancer patients receiving lethal overdoses of radiation. Four patients died. When their families sued, all the cases were settled out of court. A later investigation by independent scientists Nancy Leveson and Clark Turner found that accidents occurred even after AECL thought it had fixed particular bugs. "A lesson to be learned from the Therac-25 story is that focusing on particular software bugs is not the way to make a safe system," they wrote in their report." The basic mistakes here involved poor software-engineering practices and building a machine that relies on the software for safe operation."



8. AT&T long distance service fails: 1990
Switching errors in AT&T's call-handling computers caused the company's long-distance network to go down for nine hours, the worst of several telephone outages in the history of the system. The meltdown affected thousands of services and was eventually traced to a single faulty line of code.



7. Patriot missile misses: 1991
The U.S. Patriot missile's battery successfully headed off many Iraqi Scuds during the Gulf War. But the system also failed to track several incoming Scud missiles, including one that killed 28 U.S. soldiers in a barracks in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. The problem stemmed from a software error that put the tracking system off by 0.34 of a second.

As Ivars Peterson states in Fatal Defect, the system was originally supposed to be operated for only 14 hours at a time. In the Dhahran attack, the missile battery had been on for 100 hours. This meant that the errors in the system's clock accumulated to the point that the tracking system no longer functioned. The military had in fact already found the problem but hadn't sent the fix in time to prevent the barracks explosion.



6. Pentium chip fails math test: 1994
The concept of bugs entered the mainstream when Professor Thomas Nicely at Lynchburg College in Virginia discovered that the Pentium chip gave incorrect answers to certain complex equations. In fact, the bug occurred rarely and affected only a tiny percentage of Intel's customers. The real problem was the nonchalant way Intel reacted.

"Because we had been marketing the Pentium brand heavily, there was a bigger brand awareness," says Richard Dracott, Intel director of marketing. "We didn't realize how many people would know about it, and some people were outraged when we said it was no big deal." Intel eventually offered to replace the affected chips, which Dracott says cost the company $450 million. To prove that it had learned from its mistake, Intel then started publishing a list of known "errata," or bugs, for all of its chips.



5. Intuit's MacInTax leaks financial secrets: 1995
Intuit's tax software for Windows and Macintosh has suffered a series of bugs, including several that prompted the company to pledge to pay any resulting penalties and interest. The scariest bug was discovered in March 1995: the code included in a MacInTax debug file allowed UNIX users to log in to Intuit's master computer, where all MacInTax returns were stored. From there, the user could modify or delete returns. Intuit later ended up winning BugNet's annual bug-fix award in 1996 by responding to bugs faster than any other major vendor.



4. New Denver airport misses its opening: 1995
The Denver International Airport was intended to be a state-of-the-art airport, with a complex, computerized baggage-handling system and 5,300 miles of fiber-optic cabling. Unfortunately, bugs in the baggage system caused suitcases to be chewed up and drove automated baggage carts into walls. The airport eventually opened 16 months late, $3.2 billion over budget, and with a mainly manual baggage system.



3. Java opens security holes; browsers simply crash: 1996 to 1997
All right, this is not a single bug but a veritable bug collection. We include this entry because the sheer quantity of press coverage about bugs in Sun's Java and the two major browsers has had a profound affect on how the average consumer perceives the Internet. The conglomeration of headlines probably set back the e-commerce industry by five years. Java's problems surfaced in 1996, when research at the University of Washington and Princeton began to uncover a series of security holes in Java that could, theoretically, allow hackers to download personal information from someone's home PC. To date, no one has reported a real case of a hacker exploiting the flaw, but knowing that the possibility existed prompted several companies to instruct employees to disable Java in their browsers.

Meanwhile, Netscape and Microsoft began battling in earnest in the much-publicized browser wars. That competition inspired both companies to accelerate the schedules for their 4.0 releases, and the result has been a swarm of bugs, ranging from JavaScript flaws in Netscape's Communicator to a reboot bug in Microsoft's Internet Explorer. Communicator is now in Version 4.04 for Windows 95 and Windows NT, six months after its first release. Internet Explorer 4.01, the first of presumably many bug-fix versions, arrived in December, two months after the initial release of IE 4.0.



2. Deregulation of California utilities has to wait: 1998
Two new electrical power agencies charged with deregulating the California power industry have postponed their plans by at least three months. The delay will let them debug the software that runs the new power grid. Consumers and businesses were supposed to be able to choose from some 200 power suppliers as of January 1, 1998, but time ran out for properly testing the communications system that links the two new agencies with the power companies. The project was postponed after a seven-day simulation of the new system revealed serious problems.

The delay may cost as much as $90 million--much of which may eventually be footed by ratepayers, and which may cause some of the new power suppliers to go into debt or out of business before they even start.



1. The millennium bug: 2000 (Y2K)
For a long time, programmers have saved memory space by leaving only two numeric fields for the year instead of four: 87 instead of 1987, for example. When clocks strike midnight on January 1, 2000, this programming shorthand will make millions of computers worldwide think it's 1900, if their software isn't fixed before then. The so-called year 2000 (Y2K) bug has given birth to a cottage industry of consultants and programming tools dedicated to making sure the modern world doesn't come to a screeching halt on the first day of the next century. Some say that the bug will cause airplanes to fall from the sky, ATMs to shut down, and Social Security checks to bounce. At the very least, the bug is a huge and expensive logistical problem, although most vital organizations said they fixed the critical portions of their systems in time.

Two Ethical questions for you to say Aaaahh...

Q1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.



Q2:
It is time to elect the world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:
Candidate A Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.
Candidate C He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.





















Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler



and by the way:



Answer to the abortion question -
if you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Don't you hate it when...

There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.

You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.

It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.

There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.

There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.

The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.

You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.

The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.

You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.

You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.

You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.

You had that pen in your hand only a second ago, and now you can't find it.

You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

Don't you hate it....?!?

To Desis away from our motherland...

INDIA - a land of love, emotion & sentiments....

Most of us left the Indian shores to come here.
We have bid our farewells with teary eyes to our mothers.
We hugged our fathers and left without turning back.
We silently took leave from that girl next door peeping from behind the curtain.

We all came here, some long time back and some recently.
We all were alone in the beginning.
We missed our mothers cooking.
We missed the idli chaats on the road side.
We missed those days when we gathered with friends at a tea stall and ordered tea with samosas.

We missed that girl, whom we used to see daily in the bus, who may have smiled at us, who may even have talked to us in that angelic voice, if only we had the courage to talk.

Most of us grew out of it over here. We all made new friends.
We all clung to each other. We watched countless movies.
We even learnt to cook and throw pot luck parties where we always played Antakshari.
We confess that we even smiled at those beautiful girls across the street.
We all took trips to India; some annually, some less frequently.
We all tracked the "sale" events at Sears and KMart.
We all went to Indian Grocery Stores, and bought Rice and Rotis.

Most of us got married. We, went back home, searching for the love of a good woman-some found it in the old acquaintances from across the bus-stands, some found it in their parent's choice. Some of us took a gamble and married the one looking closest to Aishwarya Rai.

Now what do we do? We all work in software, We go to the local temple to socialise, we attend movie screenings, and argue countless times that Honda Accord is better than Toyota Camry or vice versa. At times, late night before falling asleep we switch on the stereo and listen to that old Hindi melody which makes us remember the land that was ours. We recall the green grass, the muddy roads, the wet monsoons, the pretty girls that we never talked to.

We hear the words speaking to us from across the oceans:

A Mother who gave sour medicine to her son, because she wanted him to recover soon, who let her son move miles apart though the thought was tearing her apart, she let him go as she wanted him to be happy and successful, who hides her agony in telling others that her son is
abroad.

A Father who understands his son's ambitions and the limitation and frustration he has to overcome of in India, who would not let his voice reveal that says I'll miss you son !, I love you but am unable to express the feeling.

A brother who would miss the brotherhood, though it had often been fights and not talking terms, who can deny the fact that a brother is still a brother, a friend, Who expected you to understand him as his, and when you didn't it upset but moving miles in distances has overlooked all minute failures.

A sister who would not have her adoring one to escort her to help her out of troublesome situations, who knows she has to send 'Rakhi' by post,who wishes he would turn up for her wedding, if not atleast to fondle her baby that longs for a MAMA's (Uncle's) love & affection.

A friend, who is left with mundane tasks, unable to exchange the chirpy jokes & comments, discuss various thoughts from family, friends, politics, & economics, who visits your home because he still remembers you not only on a day but everyday. Who would jump with joy on receiving a mail, who tries to keep himself free for all the days when his friend is coming back on a holiday.

The girl next door, who didn't know if she had to rejoice or not when she overheard that the boy next door is moving away, who silently takes it that he has a career and would wish for his best from afar, bids goodbye with a tear in her eye.

The girl at the bus-stop, who smiled at you and suddenly finds you no longer there, who changes her route only to avoid the void which seems to be there at the same bus-stop she had been once smiling.

The girl you got engaged to, and is waiting for you to come back and tie the wedding knot, a social and emotional security, who anxiously waits for his telephone calls and greeting cards to reassure her that you will be back as her man.

The girl you are married to, unable to understand why she is being sent to a far off land, waiting for her man to send VISA papers, bearing the nagging question of neighbours and relatives asking when are you leaving India.

The girl who never confessed her love for you, the girl you knew cared for you, missing & waiting for a word from you. If only you would come back and say that to her, who hums the song along with the radio, but the voice chokes and aches as she hears this song...

Ramayya vastavayya,Ramayya vastavayya,
Maine dil tujko diya, Maine dil tujko diya,
uss desh mai,tere pardesh mai ,
sone chandi ke badle mai bikthe hai dil,
iss gavoon mai dard ke chavon mai ,
pyar ke naam par hi dhadak the hai dil...
tu na aaye tho kya, bhool jaye tho kya,
pyar karke bhulana na aaya hame,
vahi se door se, tu bhi ye kehde kabhi,
maine dil tuj ko diya ......


Whatever our roles, it is only to say that we still love and care for you, wherever you are, you are still dear to us. We don't know what you have to go through, we only know we have love & wishes to give for you. You might have learnt or the circumstances might have taught you to handle emotions and that time and work are more important than feelings and their expressions but we are still in India and are still the same, waiting and wishing for those who moved away from India.

The WHYs... answered Wise...

The Answers we always wanted to know...

QUESTION: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?
ANSWER: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push the left. And that's where women's buttons have remained since.

QUESTION: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches, while pennies and nickels do not?
ANSWER: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.

QUESTION: Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?
ANSWER: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

QUESTION: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called "passing the buck"?
ANSWER: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal did not wish to assume the responsibility; he would "pass the buck" to the next player.

QUESTION: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
ANSWER: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would then just touch or clink the host's glass with his own.

QUESTION: Why are people in the public eye said to be "in the limelight"?
ANSWER: Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and stage lighting by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theater, performers on stage "in the limelight" were seen by the audience to be the center of attention.

QUESTION: Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use "mayday" as their call for help?
ANSWER: This comes from the French word m'aidez -meaning "help me" -- and is pronounced "mayday,"

QUESTION: Why is someone who is feeling great "on cloud nine"?
ANSWER: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

QUESTION: Why are Zero scores in tennis called "love"?
ANSWER: In France, where tennis first became popular, a big, round zero on a scoreboard looked like an egg and was called "l'oeuf," which is French for "egg." When tennis was introduced in the US, Americans pronounced it "love."

QUESTION: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?
ANSWER: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense, orange clay called "pygg". When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as "pygg banks." When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig. And it caught on.